Thursday isn’t my official “Slow-Down Fast” posting day, but I was inspired to think and write about Lent today, as well as Saturday. So, at risk of causing confusion, I stuck the button on this post. For more thoughts, check in again this Saturday.As I prepare for the Slow-Down Fast this Lent, I am open. I am willing to slow down in all areas, from my schedule to my spending; from my technology use to my thought patterns.My desire is to find the right pace for preparation—I want slow down for the 40 days of Lent in order to be prepared to walk through Maundy Thursday and Good Friday attentively, reflectively…and then to celebrate Easter Sunday with my whole self focused on Jesus Christ, the risen Savior.I didn’t grow up knowing much about Lent, nor have the churches that I’ve attended as an adult done much to observe Lent. Most of what I’ve learned has been through reading on my own.Last year, I learned that some congregations will bury the “Alleluia” on the last Sunday before Ash Wednesday, refraining from uttering it throughout Lent. By saving it all that time, “Alleluia” becomes a more precious and powerful word to sing out with jubilation on Easter Sunday.This Sunday would be the day to bury the “Alleluia.” My church probably won’t do so, and I don’t go around saying “Alleluia” at home (maybe I should?), so it got me thinking about other things I might “bury” and leave buried! Things like:
- Unhealthy thought patterns
- Worry
- Negativity
Jenny of “A Minute Captured” has me adding “complaining” to the list, as well, as she and her husband consider “A Complaint-Free Lent.”
Right now kids are gathered around the sink like wild animals gathered around the watering hole and every once in a while I hear the harsh words and angry tones that make me think the crocodile has just ambushed from the water and strangled the oblivious gazelle.
She’s been reading a book called A Complaint Free World, and it has her thinking.
Many things have been damaged during the past few weeks—a kitchen cabinet, a stair-stepper, an external hard drive, my forearm (a minor, but painful, burn). One day, when yet another item literally broke in two, I actually started to cry and exclaimed, “It’s like I’m not allowed to own anything nice!”Later, my son, who had completed all of his work and finally earned the right to play a computer game, started the program only to find that it wouldn’t load. It froze. Wouldn’t even open up for him to begin playing. I was sitting in the kitchen when I heard him wail.”What’s wrong?” I asked.”I don’t deserve anything nice,” he cried. “I just mess it all up!”There it was. My own attitude, my own tone, and my own words, slightly edited.Jenny pointed out that her complaining is often more subtle and thus harder to fix. She finds herself saying things like:A complaint free world? How about a complaint free house? Chris is resting on the couch and I start reading him bits and pieces of the book. “Can you imagine the gift we would be giving our children? The powerful life they would live, I mean really. live. if they bypass the habit of complaining?”
“Oh man, it’s raining…Why does someone always spill something sticky the exact same day I decide to mop?…Did you see?…Can you believe?…I cannot believe!..I don’t like…it’s too hot, it’s too cold, it’s too wet, it’s too dry…”
I keep thinking about all the things that have broken, and my complaints. Things will break. When I feel frustrated, disappointed or discouraged, what’s an honest but appropriate response?And if complaining is more of a habit than I realize, subtle and hard to catch, is it even possible to bury the attitude at Lent, never to dig up again?I’d like to try. Because I agree with Jenny: I like the sound of a complaint-free house.This post is part of Charity Singleton’s TheHighCalling.org (THC) community project, “There & Back Again.”
Go there: Visit fellow TheHighCalling.org member “A Minute Captured,” to read “A Complaint Free Lent.” Then come back here again!Each Thursday, consider going “There and Back Again” yourself. It’s simple.Here are Charity’s steps:
My church tradition calls for the “burying of Alleluia” during Lent. But I don’t favor this practice, mostly because I don’t think there ever ought to be a time where we purposely shut off such a God-glorifying word.
But *this* idea you have, Ann, of burying bad habits? I like that. I can do that. I MUST do that.
I’m wondering if a similar ceremony would be helpful, more substantial. Maybe the whole family can write out what they want to bury and then actually go out in the yard and bury it? It seems like an interesting Ash Wednesday exercise…
Thank you Ann for the kind consideration you have given my recent blog post. My little jelly bracelet came in the mail yesterday and I have already put it on for “practice”. It’s amazing how one little blue piece of plastic now has me thinking about what I say, especially when I really have nothing to say, but say it anyway.
I’m so glad to make your acquaintance! I wondered what color you ended up with for the bracelet–I hope you get even more visitors and they see your beautiful mantel with your Lenten traditions and the stations of the cross on display. Then they can read of the jelly-bracelet reminder, which I failed to describe.
May you have a rich and complaint-free Lent!
Ann — I need to bury complaining too. I’ve had a week similar to yours, it sounds. I’m home this morning with a sick puppy. I spilled soup in my car – on the seat! – last night on my way to a Bible study dinner. I could go on . . . BUT, my complaining? It doesn’t help. In fact, it hinders my relationship with Jesus because it can lead to blame, resentment, bitterness. I love the idea of hiding the complaining.
I finally have the linky tool up for There and Back Again. Last night when I was would normally be writing I was cleaning up after Tilly. But I’m not complaining!
Off to Jenny’s post.
I saw your There & Back Again post. And sometime I’ll have to share with you one of the messages I’m working on and how amazing it was to be preparing to say it out loud to 80 women at the retreat, when being challenged to live and accept it in real life these weeks when things have been falling apart.
Thanks for sending me out into the network. I enjoyed meeting Jenny!
I also grew up in a church that didn’t observe Lent, so I’ve kind of fumbled around trying to figure out what I should or shouldn’t be doing (and then I get mad at myself for using the word “should.”). It’s hard, giving things up, because then I just tend to end up feeling smug and self-righteous. I like the idea of burying complaints–heaven knows I hear my words and tone of voice come back to haunt me far too often. I do think it’s helpful, when trying to give up/bury something to do something positive in its place–putting to death the practice of complaining, putting on the practice of thanksgiving, or something like that.
Last year for Lent I tried really hard to give up complaining, and while it wasn’t completely complaint-free, there was a definite difference in what came out of my mouth. There were many times though I would say something to my husband and then quickly follow up with “I’m not complaining, I’m just stating facts!” Perhaps that was pushing the limit a bit. 🙂 But it was good to at least be aware and more conscious of what was coming out of my mouth.
This is something I would like to do again this year, but hopefully this time it will carry over past Lent. I complain for too often, and would venture to guess that if I complained less, I would be talking less as well. I need to choose my words wisely, speaking truth and kindness instead of complaining and whining.
Thanks for sharing Ann!