This or That?

My son was humming a tune when he walked past me. I was seated at the kitchen table, flipping through the entertainment section of the Wall Street Journal.For fun, I looked up and posed a series of questions to see if I’m tracking with his top interests … something like “This or That.” “I’ve got a question for you,” I began. “If you could instantly be great at something, would you rather be a great soccer player or a great dancer?” I must have been influenced by the entertainment section.He sat at the table to answer. “Soccer player.”“Okay, soccer player or singer?”“Soccer.”“Soccer or piano.”“Piano.”“Oh!” I didn’t expect piano to edge out soccer. “Hmmm…piano or cook?”“Cook.”“Really? Well, we need to have you cook more! I was just thinking I should get you in the kitchen with me, helping with dinner preparations. That’s great.” I paused, intending to end with cook. I may have even glanced back at the newspaper.“There’s something you forgot to ask,” he said.“Oh? Well, let’s see … cook, or…” I couldn’t think of anything else.“There’s something else I’d like to be great at and you haven’t asked me.”“Well, what is it?”“A friend,” he said. “I’d like to be a really great friend.“He took me off guard. I smiled. He smiled back.“That’s just wonderful … and it kind of goes with cooking. Cooking and friends … you can cook for your friends or even with your friends. Sometimes people get together and prepare a meal together.”“Sure. I can cook for my friends and play piano for my friends and play soccer!”“With your friends?”“Yes. So that’s what I’d really like to be.”“A friend.”“Yes.”A friend. Yes, indeed.

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23 thoughts on “This or That?”

    1. We went through a “This or That” exercise with the girls this weekend. They love it–they get to really think through what they like best. I should probably do it myself.

      Cooking or cleaning?

      Cooking.

      Cooking or jogging?

      Jogging.

      Jogging or blogging?

      Blogging!!

  1. All I can say is… WOW!

    I choked up reading that… and when I think about it… that’s what I want to be great at too (minus the soccer) 😉

    1. That’s what I want to be great at, too, Ruth, starting with family and working out from there to everyone God puts in my life.

      And I’m happy to watch soccer, but no good playing it.

      In fact, I’m off to watch World Cup right now!

  2. Linda Bannister

    Your child has beautiful values and the most Christ-like heart. People first. It is a powerful reflection on you and the Belgian Wonder.

    1. I can imagine “This or That” at your house:

      Troll-fighting or football?

      Troll-fighting.

      Troll-fighting or water-gun war?

      Troll-fighting.

      Troll-fighting or dinner?

      Troll-fighting.

  3. I really love your story. That’s awesome. He sounds like a great kid! Being a friend is so important, even if it’s just to one person!

    A cooking, piano playing, soccer player, friend!

    Makes me think of my mom. My Pop always told me that my mom wanted to be a “singin’, cookin’, truck drivin’, nun”!

    1. I went to your site and hoped to find a blog and place to comment–thank you for initiating this interaction. Would love to get to know you better! And thank you for your kind words about my parenting…he’s a wonderful person to parent.

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Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach
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