Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach

  • Home
  • About
  • Books
    • On Being a Writer
      • Media Kit
  • Speaking
    • Book Ann as a Guest on Your Show
  • Podcast
  • Courses
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Work With Me

May 12, 2010 15 Comments

Boy Meets Bag

A couple of years ago the kids and I were looking through the purses and bags at Goodwill, and our son announced that he, too, wanted a purse. I suppose he would have been about six years old at the time.A bag of his own could contain his wallet, ChapStick, a notepad and pen, his Nintendo DS—such a practical solution for easy transport! He started poking around the jumble of gently used purses, totes, and shoulder bags, considering the possibilities.His sisters were horrified, but he was determined.I had to decide what to do, what to say. I had to decide quickly…

This is the start of a post at HighCallingBlogs.com today, where I simply set up and highlight someone else’s boy-meets-bag moment of decision. I invite you to slip over and check out the excerpt from her post.

HighCallingBlogs.com Christian Blog Network

In the meantime, here’s what happened at Goodwill:Parenting is full of little moments like this that sneak up on me. We’re out picking up milk, returning books at the library, or browsing leather handbags at Goodwill—something utterly ordinary and mundane—and next thing you know, something small leaves me prickling with the possibility that the next word I utter or the look on my face will mark a defining moment in my child’s life.Will my reaction to his purse request change how he views the world or people or gender? Or will it amount to nothing?Standing in front of those Goodwill bags beside my son and daughters, I made a decision.“Some men do carry bags to contain their stuff,” I said. The girls conceded that their dad carries a backpack and a brief case … but those bags, they pointed out, were a far cry from a purse.“Some men, like Papa, use a backpack or brief case,” I continued, “but a few do indeed carry a smaller bag the size of a purse.” But I insisted that bags for men are usually a simple style in a quiet color with masculine details, like webbing for the strap, for example, and little in the way of decoration.I let my son have a bag.He narrowed down his selection, and the girls and I urged him to take a small, relatively manly canvas bag in sage green. He agreed to it and uses it to this day for small items.Defining moment? I don’t know about the far-reaching effects, but I can see that it’s practical. He doesn’t drop his DS on the concrete driveway when it’s tucked neatly into his bag, for example, and he can apply his own ChapStick to those frequently dry, cracked lips of his.If anyone questions it, we can always point to his father’s European upbringing (“Man bags are all the rage in France!”). Or maybe we could just rename it a satchel.

It’s easy to subscribe to annkroeker.com updates via email or RSS feed.Visit NotSoFastBook.com to learn more about Ann’s book.Twitter.com/annkroeker

Filed Under: children, family, motherhood, parenting, taking risks Tagged With: man bag, parenting boys

Comments

  1. Marilyn says

    May 12, 2010 at 11:31 am

    Sharp!

    My husband (a cycling guy) acquires and uses bags with pockets and zippers for all sorts of uses – on the bicycles, in his car, in the office. He knows where his stuff is. It isn’t slipping, sliding, falling between seats, getting lost. He hasn’t gotten into carrying a bag yet, no, but he has quite a few pair of those shorts with pockets all over the legs and is at the outer boundaries of filling those. I think a bag to carry would look better, so….

    I agree with your thinking on this one. It isn’t easy being mom and wrestling through these things.

    Reply
    • annkroeker says

      May 12, 2010 at 2:28 pm

      Shorts with pockets all over is a fun alternative…I might look for some of those to provide an option to the “satchel.”

      Reply
  2. shepherdsgrace says

    May 12, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    Satchel, definitely a satchel…man bag makes my ears physically hurt when spoken aloud…like they have a cow udder or something not quite right…but satchel…that’s the ticket…or back pack…

    Reply
    • annkroeker says

      May 12, 2010 at 2:29 pm

      Satchel. I’ll start using that instead. I didn’t have your reaction to that phrase, but now I’ll never be able to say it or read it without imagining some bulbous growth!

      Reply
      • shepherdsgrace says

        May 13, 2010 at 2:44 pm

        Hahahahaha, sorry…

        Reply
  3. Llama Momma says

    May 12, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    I love the man bag!

    Reminds me of when Twin B. was in Kindergarten, and really, really wanted to wear a necklace to school. A purple, beaded necklace. I broke the news that boys don’t usually wear this kind of jewelry, and kids may make fun of him if he wore it.

    He wore it anyway.

    At the end of the day, I asked him if anyone said anything about his necklace. He said, “Yup. So and so said, “Hey, I like your necklace!”

    He gave up the jewelry by 1st grade, but I’m so glad his kindergarten class was still a “safe place” for a boy to dress up! 🙂

    Reply
    • annkroeker says

      May 12, 2010 at 2:32 pm

      I wonder how many Kindergarten classes today would be as innocently impressed as your son’s?

      Back in the macho era when John Wayne westerns were the rage … I’m betting the peer reaction to our boys with “satchels” and necklaces would have been pretty negative.

      Reply
  4. Queenie says

    May 12, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    It’s fun to read of other mothers confronted with the complexities of gender expectations and attempting to deal gently with them. My 5-year-old boy wanted desperately to paint his toenails–red, no less. After explaining that it’s not totally culturally acceptable (albeit in more preschool-friendly terms), we compromised and he painted (and then removed) the polish. He had a great time.

    Reply
    • annkroeker says

      May 12, 2010 at 5:21 pm

      That’s a nice solution, Queenie, and it sounds like you had some fun with your son!

      Reply
  5. Kathleen says

    May 12, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    Wise mom. He will grow up free to be. Thanks for this. Kids with thinking parents, honest parents, fearless parents, don’t usually need therapy when they’re older. Comforting? 🙂

    Reply
    • annkroeker says

      May 12, 2010 at 9:04 pm

      Yes, that is comforting, Kathleen. Thank you for taking time to write–you write with wisdom and offer perspective.

      Reply
  6. Like a Bubbling Brook says

    May 12, 2010 at 10:38 pm

    What a fun post. We frequent Goodwill ourselves, though my little man has not requested a (cough, cough) satchel… yet :o)

    He does love to help me in the kitchen, though, and for that I am grateful.

    Enjoying your blog!

    Jaime G

    Reply
    • annkroeker says

      May 13, 2010 at 2:49 pm

      Some of the greatest chefs of all time were/are men!

      Reply
  7. pleasingfragrance says

    June 9, 2010 at 8:18 am

    Haven’t had the “satchel” situation yet…but our 3.5 year old little man has associated “dress-up” with dresses… When his big sister “dresses-up” to dance – of course in a frilly dress – little brother heads to the bedroom to get his own dancing dress on. He hasn’t wanted to wear his dress out to run errands yet though …. thinking we should find a top hat and suit jacket for him to dress up in. …..*sigh* boys with older sisters….. 🙂

    Reply
    • annkroeker says

      June 10, 2010 at 1:52 pm

      You said it: “*sigh* boys with older sisters…..”

      The first thing my mother-in-law said the day we phoned to tell her it was a boy was: “He needs a little brother!”

      She knew the challenge of a brother to older sisters.

      My husband was her little boy following three girls.

      And she followed her advice: he has a little brother!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach

Providing you with resources and inspiration to be more curious, creative, and productive.

Ad - SiteGround Web Hosting - Crafted for easy site management. Amazing Speed; Powerful Tools; Top-rated support. Learn more.
Make Your Sentences Sing: 7 Sentence Openers to Add Music to Your Prose (Mini Course from Ann Kroeker.Teachable.com)
TWL-100-best-websites-2016-2-300x300

Archives

Categories

Ann Kroeker is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Not every link leads to compensation, but assume that each does.
© 2006-2022 Ann Kroeker All Rights Reserved

instagram twitter facebook pinterest

Landing page graphic and other design elements by Sophie Kroeker.

Privacy Policy · Copyright © 2023